Excerpt: The Malaise Falchion by Paul Barrett
Enjoy reading an excerpt from The Malaise Falchion by Paul Barrett.
The Malaise Falchion
by Paul Barrett
There are a hundred thousand stories in Mage City. The best ones start with a woman. Or a fight. Mine starts with a fight about a woman. It happened on what passes for a quiet day in the North Rimside District; only two screams and one sword fight reached my ears. I sat in my second-story office, bleary-eyed, hot, and in need of a beard trimming. A half-empty bottle of Wizard Piss Grog sat on my cluttered desk. It dared me to finish it off. I accepted its challenge. The room grew more stifling. I considered opening the shutters. The thought of sunlight and the smell of fresh-gutted Rimbird from the nearby market made my stomach clench. The office already stank of unwashed laundry, courtesy of me, and smoked meat, courtesy of the store below me.
I rubbed my hands across my hairy face and ran my tongue over my teeth. They felt fuzzy.
Two weeks had passed since my last case; it seemed unlikely any new business would wander in. I wasn’t in the mood to hit up my usual contacts. Time for a nap.
I had just gathered a stack of unfiled parchments from my desk and rested my head on them when the office door swung open. I raised my head. Crizlyk, my Sauro assistant, stood in the doorway. I’ve always thought assistants should be shorter and less intelligent than their boss. Being a Dwarf, I had few options. Gnomes are too damn smart and cheery. Halflings eat too much. Crizlyk listened well, didn’t smart mouth often, and had to look up at me. And he worked cheap, which was almost what I could afford.
“What is it?” I croaked as my eyes focused on his ugly green, long-jawed face.
“There’s an Elf here to see you,” he yipped. “Says it’s important.”
“Don’t they always,” I moaned. “Tell him I’m busy, I’ll talk to him later.”
Before Criz could obey, a black leather boot punted all three feet of him to the wall. He hit with a squeak and bounced off. A broad-shouldered figure in a chain shirt and green clothing stepped in. Not an Elf, but an Orc with chalky skin, piggish eyes, and short, gold-capped tusks. Another followed. They looked like twins, but who can tell with Orcs? They took up positions on either side of the door and rested their large cudgels against their thick necks.
I had seen the Dance of the Hired Goons enough to know the routine. Sure, they wore livery. A green tabard with a gilded fern leaf proclaimed to all that they worked for Clan Greenstreet, one of the five Elf Clans in Mage City. But livery on an Orc is like flowers on horse dung: the flowers make it look better, but take them away and you’re left with shit. These two were nothing more than street thugs pretending to be bodyguards. There was a lot of that after the war. I couldn’t blame them for taking the work. It looked like they ate well, which was more than I could boast.
BOOK INFO
The Malaise Falchion
By Paul Barrett
Fiery Seas Publishing
November 15, 2016
The Spade Case Files (Book 1)
Fantasy
Disgraced during the Demon War, Dwarf investigator Snazdaggin Kundarik (Spade to his friends) wants nothing more than a desk to sleep on, a bottle of grog to drink, and the occasional easy case for quick pay.
Then a mysterious female Elf from the posh side of town shows up and offers him exoneration for his past sins and lots of gold. All he has to do is follow her brother and report his activities. Simple, right?
He should have known better. The simple job soon spirals out of control. Spade finds himself sucked into intrigue, powerful magic, and the hunt for a weapon powerful enough to end the world. Ill-prepared, Spade forges on with the aid of his hapless sidekick and a reluctant female warrior.
Will he survive long enough to save the world and get his grog?
AMAZON ~~~ BARNES & NOBLE ~~~ KOBO ~~~ iBOOKS
Paul has lived a varied life full of excitement and adventure. Not really, but it sounds good as an opening line.
Paul’s multiple careers have included: rock and roll roadie, children’s theater stage manager, television camera operator, mortgage banker, and support specialist for Microsoft Excel.
This eclectic mix prepared him to go into his true love: motion picture production. He has produced two motion pictures and two documentaries: His film Night Feeders released on DVD in 2007, and Cold Storage was released by Lionsgate in 2010
Amidst all this, Paul has worked on his writing, starting with his first short story, about Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, at age 8. Paul has written and produced numerous commercial and industrial video scripts in his tenure with his forcreative agency, Indievision. He has two published short stories (As You Sow and Double Cross) and one self-published novel (Godchild). He lives with his filmmaker/graphic artist partner and their three cats.
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