A Twisted White Elephant Christmas Tradition
Our family tradition of ridiculous White Elephant gifts started as a joke about ten years back. My sister was gifted a box of potpourri that smelled anything but pleasant. The job of the little pinecones in the box were to fill the room with tantalizing scents, yet it missed the mark completely. After teasing my sister relentlessly about the stinky little gift, I was shocked to open my present from her that year to find it sitting in my lap. The fact I didn’t notice the pungent smell coming from beneath the gift wrapping is still a mystery.
Not one to let an opportunity pass me by, I stuck that putrid little box in a dark corner of the garage where it would offend no one for the next year while I waited like a patient hunter prepared to surprise my prey. The day before Christmas I plugged my nose, pulled it out and wrapped it up tight. Back under the tree it went for my unsuspecting sister. When the wrapping came off and that little box of potpourri sat on her lap, the laughs between sisters finished with tears and lungs desperate for air. Now the rest of the family was aware of this little game and with it, our twisted family version of White Elephant was born.
Each year our gifts get more ridiculous and more offensive. We stalk the thrift stores and giveaways looking for the most heinous gifts around. Creepy baby dolls, weird hats, bizarre figurines… even a used cast. Yes, a stinky, used up rotten cast was gifted to me just two years ago. That little doozy so generously given to me by my sister was the winner of White Elephant that year. To begin describing the strange things that appear under our Christmas tree would be impossible even for the most talented writer. There are no words for what emerges during our holiday parties.
Two years ago my sister received a tattered brown box from her boyfriend that she opened with a wary eye. Inside she found a porcelain container… a disfigured looking squirrel perched on top of the acorn that opened for storage inside. Laughter abounded as she opened the strange little acorn up. This time her gasp was not from horror, but from surprise to find a black, velvet box with a stunning diamond ring inside. When her eyes flew up, her boyfriend was bent down on a knee. We knew he was a keeper when he proposed to her with a White Elephant winner. Luckily for her, this sister was in on the surprise. I was able to convince her to remove the camouflage hood and plastic mask she had been gifted earlier in the night before opening this gift so she didn’t end up with her videoed proposal in this spectacular attire. In hindsight, I almost wish I hadn’t. Watching her gasping beneath a monster mask as he asked, “Will you marry me?” might have been worth the loss of the legitimate engagement video we got instead.
Why do we do it? Why do we fill up bags with useless garbage and things none of us will ever use, you ask? The laughter our gifts produce is something that is more precious than any physical gift any of us will ever use. With each tearing of a wrapper, roars of laughter fill the room. Tears fall as we gasp for air, wondering where in the hell someone found a rainbow-colored starfish Jesus lamp that actually lights up. Though we drive away wondering what we are going to do with all of these treasures, we drive away with huge smiles on our faces and photographs of our expressions as we proudly hold up outlandish gifts that we will cherish for years to come. In our family, laughter is the greatest gift of all.
In the Assassin's Arms
By Katherine Hastings
Series: Dagger of Desire
Fiery Seas Everlasting
2018
Historical Romance
John Douglas may be a well-trained political assassin, but he has met his match in the woman he once called a friend. When his childhood playmate reenters his life, she's not looking to rekindle their friendship...she's out for blood.
With a vendetta to settle, Charlotte Cornewalle isn't stopping until she finds the man who killed her father. All signs point to Robert Douglas, the leader of the opposing faction of assassins...and John's father. To get her revenge, no one will stand in her way...not even the boy she once adored.
Fate forces them together as they fight to prove their innocence and right the wrongs they have suffered. Sparks fly from more than just their swords, but will they be able to put the past behind them? Will they be able to find the truth before it destroys them both?
About the Author:
Katherine Hastings loves love. It’s why she writes romance novels. Getting lost writing a romantic adventure is one of her favorite past times. When she’s s not on an adventure in her mind with her characters, she can be found at her home in Wisconsin snuggling her husband, two Boston Terriers, and the world’s naughtiest cat. Two things make Katherine want to leave her happy home these days...going for rides on her dressage pony or floating at the beach in her big inflatable raft. Writing her novels while floating in the lake is one of her ultimate pleasures...that and Fried Wisconsin Cheese Curds, of course.
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