Serious, Serious Overkill
My book, Demon Freaks, comes out today. And that makes me think back on other things of note that have happened on October 3rd. Not all of them are as pleasant as a book release, though, so you might want to skip the rest if you don’t like horror.
Still here? OK then. You’ve been warned.
Did you know that on this day in 1283, in an official act of what I can only describe as serious, serious overkill, King Edward the first of England gave the Prince of Wales, Dafydd ap Gruffydd, the unpleasant distinction of being the first notable person ever executed by being hanged, drawn and quartered?
It’s true. That also made poor Dafydd the first person known to have been tried and executed for high treason against a King. Now, it may not sound so bad to be drawn and quartered if you’ve already been hanged first, but that assumes that the hanging killed you, which in this case (and by design) it did not. Let me back up a smidge. Dafydd, you see, was first dragged through the streets of Shrewsbury behind a horse. Edward actually had him tied to the horse’s tail, because that was deemed more demeaning than just regular dragging. Being dragged through the streets tied to a horse’s tail was, however, a piece of cake compared to what came next.
After the dragging, they hanged Dafydd, but not until he was dead. They hanged him only until he lost consciousness. At that point, he was revived. Once he recovered, then he was drawn. And that doesn’t mean they made a picture of him using pencils or charcoal. No, drawn is a pleasant sounding way of saying that he was disemboweled. It means his intestines were “drawn” from his body. I don’t actually know why I put “drawn” in quotes just then. That’s literally what happened.
Disemboweling is a slow way to die, which meant that Edward’s men had time to set Dafydd’s own entrails on fire while Dafydd watched. I had to use Dafydd’s name twice in that sentence just to make it clear that the guy watched his own bowels getting pulled out and burned up. There were plenty of other people who watched, but the key thing was that Dafydd watched too. Just as another point of clarification, I don’t think he watched out of simple curiosity. In fact, I don’t think he was probably very interested in watching. He was forced to watch. This was the punishment for his “sacrilege in committing his crimes in the week of Christ's passion". Seems a bit of a stiff penalty to me, but they took that stuff pretty seriously back then. If you were going to plot to overthrow the King, they must have figured, you should at least have the decency to wait until after the week of the Passion, for Christ’s sake.
Once that bit of violence was finished, Dafydd’s body was cut into four-quarters, specifically as punishment for "plotting the king's death". I’d have thought that was the more serious bit, being sliced into four pieces, although I’m not sure how much of the quartering Dafydd actually got to experience. I stubbed my toe quite badly once, but I don’t remember much of it because I passed out. I can only assume things were significantly worse for Dafydd.
Here’s an odd little detail the historians decided to record. A guy named Geoffrey of Shrewsbury was paid 20 shillings for doing all that to Dafydd. Just in case you’re wondering, that’s about $130.00 in US currency, factoring for inflation. Heck, with that, he could have bought 19 Kindle versions of my book or almost nine copies of the paperback. Except they didn’t have Kindle’s back then. Kindling for setting intestines on fire, sure, but not eBook readers.
Anyway, happy October 3rd!
A funny supernatural tale with spooky scenes, sincere emotions, and a solidly satisfying ending. — Kirkus Reviews
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Demon Freaks by J.R.R.R (Jim) Hardison
YA Horror/Comedy
Fiery Seas Publishing
October 3, 2017
It’s the night before the SAT test and the forces of darkness are stirring.
Twin brothers, Bing and Ron Slaughter, know they’ve got to cram like their lives depend on it because their college plans sure do. If they don’t ace the test, they’ll be doomed to spend the rest of their days flipping burgers at the McDonald’s their parents run. That’s why they hatch a plan to meet up with the members of their punk band, the Ephits, spend the night studying at a secluded cabin in the woods, and maybe squeeze in a little jamming. What could go wrong with a brilliant plan like that?
Ancient evil. That’s what.
As a cataclysmic lightning storm rolls in, Bing, Ron and the rest of the Ephits find themselves tangled in a sinister plot to summon a demon. Yes, demons are real. To survive the night, the band must find a malevolent artifact, battle bloodthirsty monsters and stand against the most dangerous and powerful foe humanity has ever faced…the Golfer’s Association.
About the Author:
Fish Wielder is J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison’s first novel novel (He wrote a graphic novel, The Helm, for Dark Horse Comics). Jim has worked as a writer, screen writer, animator and film director. He started his professional career by producing a low-budget direct-to-video feature film, The Creature From Lake Michigan. Making a bad movie can be a crash course in the essential elements of good character and story, and The Creature From Lake Michigan was a tremendously bad movie. Shifting his focus entirely to animation, Jim joined Will Vinton Studios where he directed animated commercials for M&M’s and on the stop-motion TV series Gary and Mike. While working at Vinton, he also co-wrote the television special Popeye’s Voyage: The Quest for Pappy with actor Paul Reiser.
Jim has appeared on NBC’s The Apprentice as an expert advisor on brand characters, developed characters and wrote the pilot episode for the PBS children’s television series SeeMore’s Playhouse and authored the previously mentioned graphic novel, The Helm, named one of 2010’s top ten Great Graphic Novels for Teens by YALSA, a branch of the American Library Association. These days, Jim is the creative director and co-owner of Character LLC, a company that does story-analysis for brands and entertainment properties. He lives in Portland, Oregon with his lovely wife, two amazing kids, one smart dog and one stupid dog.
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