Meet Brom and Chalmers
Mr. Brom and Dr. Chalmers are bad men, but in different ways.
Mr. William Jeffrey Brom is a history teacher at Barton High School and a notorious bully. Apart from being stuck up, mean-spirited, British prig, flecks of spit always dry in white patches at the corners of his mouth when he gives lectures. That would make it hard enough to pay attention to what he’s saying in class, but then there’s the matter of his hair color. Mr. Brom’s receding hairline and beard are both ginger, while his eyebrows and mustache are both black. If the discrepancy is natural, how is that possible? And if it’s not, what would drive a person to choose to have mismatched hair? These questions have been a source of speculation and distraction for all of his students, including Bing and Ron, both of whom Mr. Brom wants suspended. And if that’s not enough to make someone a villain, don’t worry, Mr. Brom has plenty of dark secrets waiting to be dragged into the light.
Dr. Sigmund Orpheus Chalmers is the President of the Golfers’ Association. Doesn’t sound that bad to you? Well, insane cultists, Satan worshipers and evil wizards are like elderly nuns compared to the Golfers’ Association, and Dr. Chalmers is the worst of them. With his full beard, white as snow, his chubby cheeks, twinkly eyes and penchant for wearing red robes lined with ermine, the bad doctor resembles Santa Claus, but any similarity stops at the surface level. Chalmers is rotten to the core, and a power-mad sorcerer bent on ruling the world to boot. A master of the dark arts, he’ll see at least half the members of the Ephits (Bing and Ron’s punk band) dead before morning, or there will be hell to pay. Literally.
Mr. Brom
Height: 6’
Weight: 170 lbs
Hair Color: Ginger hair and beard, black eyebrows and mustache
Eye Color: Black
Last seen wearing: Brown tweed pants and a brown tweed sport jacket with pretentious leather patches on the elbows.
Instrument of choice: Chalk that screams like a tortured soul as it scratches its way down the blackboard
Favorite food: Obscure varieties of cheese
Favorite song: Carmi
na Burana by Carl Orff
Favorite Activities: Studying the darker moments of human history, bullying students, getting up to no good
Known Associates: The Dark Brotherhood
Fun Facts: Mr. Brom is a direct descendant of Jack the Ripper
Dr. Chalmers
Height: 5’9”
Weight: 180 lbs
Hair Color: White as snow
Eye Color: Twinkly blue
Last seen wearing: Basically a Santa suit—scarlet robe trimmed with white fur and closed with a fat, black leather belt.
Instrument of choice: Magic paintbrush, magic wand…anything magical, actually.
Favorite food: Jelly donuts
Favorite song: Suite Gothique, by Léon Boëllmann
Favorite Activities: Summoning demons
Known Associates: The golfers of the Golfers’ Association
Fun Facts: Dr. Chalmers is an accomplished pipe organist and has toured the world to play such ancient instruments as the organ of the Basilica of Valère in Sion, Switzerland and the Lorenzo da Prato organ in the San Petronio Basilica in Bologna
A funny supernatural tale with spooky scenes, sincere emotions, and a solidly satisfying ending. — Kirkus Reviews
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Demon Freaks by J.R.R.R (Jim) Hardison
YA Horror/Comedy
Fiery Seas Publishing
October 3, 2017
It’s the night before the SAT test and the forces of darkness are stirring.
Twin brothers, Bing and Ron Slaughter, know they’ve got to cram like their lives depend on it because their college plans sure do. If they don’t ace the test, they’ll be doomed to spend the rest of their days flipping burgers at the McDonald’s their parents run. That’s why they hatch a plan to meet up with the members of their punk band, the Ephits, spend the night studying at a secluded cabin in the woods, and maybe squeeze in a little jamming. What could go wrong with a brilliant plan like that?
Ancient evil. That’s what.
As a cataclysmic lightning storm rolls in, Bing, Ron and the rest of the Ephits find themselves tangled in a sinister plot to summon a demon. Yes, demons are real. To survive the night, the band must find a malevolent artifact, battle bloodthirsty monsters and stand against the most dangerous and powerful foe humanity has ever faced…the Golfer’s Association.
About the Author:
Fish Wielder is J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison’s first novel novel (He wrote a graphic novel, The Helm, for Dark Horse Comics). Jim has worked as a writer, screen writer, animator and film director. He started his professional career by producing a low-budget direct-to-video feature film, The Creature From Lake Michigan. Making a bad movie can be a crash course in the essential elements of good character and story, and The Creature From Lake Michigan was a tremendously bad movie. Shifting his focus entirely to animation, Jim joined Will Vinton Studios where he directed animated commercials for M&M’s and on the stop-motion TV series Gary and Mike. While working at Vinton, he also co-wrote the television special Popeye’s Voyage: The Quest for Pappy with actor Paul Reiser.
Jim has appeared on NBC’s The Apprentice as an expert advisor on brand characters, developed characters and wrote the pilot episode for the PBS children’s television series SeeMore’s Playhouse and authored the previously mentioned graphic novel, The Helm, named one of 2010’s top ten Great Graphic Novels for Teens by YALSA, a branch of the American Library Association. These days, Jim is the creative director and co-owner of Character LLC, a company that does story-analysis for brands and entertainment properties. He lives in Portland, Oregon with his lovely wife, two amazing kids, one smart dog and one stupid dog.
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