Meet Bing and Ron Slaughter
Bing and Ron Slaughter are the identical twin main characters of Demon Freaks. Where they’re concerned, however, identical is a strictly scientific classification. They try very hard to look nothing alike, not because they dislike each other any more than is usual for brothers but because they share a deep feeling that twins who dress and act identically are “mutant cutesy geeks whose prime talent is provoking others to vomit.”
That’s Bing’s phrase. Named for Bing Crosby, Bing Slaughter considers himself the deeper, more poetic and more studious of the Slaughter brothers. He fronts the band they both play in and writes most of their songs. Ron, named for Ronald McDonald, sings backup while he plays bass. Today, their band is called the Ephits. Yesterday, it was called the Angry Red Welts. A week ago, it was the Croutons.
If you didn’t know, you might not guess that Bing and Ron are related to each other, let alone that they’re identical twins. Bing looks a bit scrawny, like a punk-rocking, gluten-intolerant vegetarian. His friends’ mothers are always telling him to eat more and trying to make him drink milk. Ron, on the other hand, affects more of a surfer look. He is heavier by fifteen pounds and younger by thirteen minutes.
Bing Slaughter
Height: 5’11”
Weight: 140 lbs
Hair Color: Dyed black and spiked up, punk-style
Eye Color: Bright blue
Last seen wearing: Black jeans and a black leather jacket over a Union Jack T-shirt
Instrument of choice: Vox teardrop guitar and his vocal chords
Favorite food: Pepperoni pizza and Dr. Pepper
Favorite song: Anarchy In The UK, by Sex Pistols
Favorite Activities: Writing songs, rocking out, watching storms and thinking about interesting ways to die
Known Associates: His twin brother Ron and his other band-mates, Kaitlyn (whom he has a secret crush on) and Meat.
Fun Facts: Bing’s favorite death fantasy is getting struck by lightning. Especially if he were wearing a baseball cap and gym shoes so people could read in the paper about how the lightning burned a hole through the baseball cap and blew his gym shoes thirty-five feet from where they found his body. That would be cool. Especially if little wisps of smoke were still coming out of his nostrils when the paramedics arrived and if his eyeballs were steaming.
Ron Slaughter
Height: 5’11”
Weight: 155 lbs
Hair Color: Bleached blond and almost shoulder length
Eye Color: Bright blue
Last seen wearing: Boot-cut blue jeans and an extra large and extra loud Hawaiian-print shirt.
Instrument of choice: 1964 vintage Hofner violin-style bass guitar
Favorite food: Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and Mountain Dew Code Red
Favorite song: Sheena Is A Punk Rocker, by the Ramones
Favorite Activities: Rocking out, planning and pulling elaborate pranks, reading comics, acting in his brother’s movies
Known Associates: His twin brother Bing and his other band-mates, Kaitlyn (he also has a secret crush on her) and Meat.
Fun Facts: Ron has martial arts training. Well, he studied Oom Yung Doe. Briefly. He attained the exalted level of…white-belt. The younger of the Slaughter twins, Ron developed the theory during his martial-arts class that martial-arts skills, like huge muscles, are something you are born with a genetic tendency toward, not something you acquired through dedicated training and hard work. The net effect of his three weeks of training, therefore, was the mastering of the basic kung fu stance and a song titled I Am Not Bruce Lee. He still has his Oom Yung Doe gi and occasionally wears it during band performances.
A funny supernatural tale with spooky scenes, sincere emotions, and a solidly satisfying ending. — Kirkus Reviews
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Demon Freaks by J.R.R.R (Jim) Hardison
YA Horror/Comedy
Fiery Seas Publishing
October 3, 2017
It’s the night before the SAT test and the forces of darkness are stirring.
Twin brothers, Bing and Ron Slaughter, know they’ve got to cram like their lives depend on it because their college plans sure do. If they don’t ace the test, they’ll be doomed to spend the rest of their days flipping burgers at the McDonald’s their parents run. That’s why they hatch a plan to meet up with the members of their punk band, the Ephits, spend the night studying at a secluded cabin in the woods, and maybe squeeze in a little jamming. What could go wrong with a brilliant plan like that?
Ancient evil. That’s what.
As a cataclysmic lightning storm rolls in, Bing, Ron and the rest of the Ephits find themselves tangled in a sinister plot to summon a demon. Yes, demons are real. To survive the night, the band must find a malevolent artifact, battle bloodthirsty monsters and stand against the most dangerous and powerful foe humanity has ever faced…the Golfer’s Association.
About the Author:
Fish Wielder is J.R.R.R. (Jim) Hardison’s first novel novel (He wrote a graphic novel, The Helm, for Dark Horse Comics). Jim has worked as a writer, screen writer, animator and film director. He started his professional career by producing a low-budget direct-to-video feature film, The Creature From Lake Michigan. Making a bad movie can be a crash course in the essential elements of good character and story, and The Creature From Lake Michigan was a tremendously bad movie. Shifting his focus entirely to animation, Jim joined Will Vinton Studios where he directed animated commercials for M&M’s and on the stop-motion TV series Gary and Mike. While working at Vinton, he also co-wrote the television special Popeye’s Voyage: The Quest for Pappy with actor Paul Reiser.
Jim has appeared on NBC’s The Apprentice as an expert advisor on brand characters, developed characters and wrote the pilot episode for the PBS children’s television series SeeMore’s Playhouse and authored the previously mentioned graphic novel, The Helm, named one of 2010’s top ten Great Graphic Novels for Teens by YALSA, a branch of the American Library Association. These days, Jim is the creative director and co-owner of Character LLC, a company that does story-analysis for brands and entertainment properties. He lives in Portland, Oregon with his lovely wife, two amazing kids, one smart dog and one stupid dog.
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